


Sustenance and Hunger

by ried (riiiied)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-09 22:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7819435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riiiied/pseuds/ried
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa and Sasha sometimes met to share a little food, and something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sustenance and Hunger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boredone27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredone27/gifts).



Hiding behind the storehouse, a roll of bread in her hands, Sasha's blood froze when she heard footsteps approaching. Timidly, she turned to raise her head towards where the voice came from. To her relief, it wasn't an instructor, but a different familiar face – Mikasa. Still, getting caught like that felt awkward.

Quickly chewing and swallowing the piece in her mouth, Sasha rose up from her position slightly. “Um. Uh. This is. Well.”

Mikasa did not say a word, though considering her blank stare, she did not show any signs of trying to blame Sasha for what she was doing.

“Uh, well.” Sasha racked her brain for the right thing to say. “Please don't tell anyone about this?:

It took a few more moments before Mikasa replied. “Ah, yes, that's no -”

“A-ah, I know!” Sasha piped up, as if just coming up with a brilliant idea, and brought up the remainder of the bread in her hands. Breaking it off in two, she offered one of the pieces to Mikasa. I'll give you half of this, so can you please not tell the instructors about this? Please?”

Mikasa looked down at the piece of bread being offered to her. “I wouldn't have told them either way,” she said as she gently pushed against Sasha's hand.

Instead, Sasha pushed her hand forwards again. “No, please take it.” She felt that she had to do something in exchange for not being reported to.

Mikasa looked hesitant for another moment, but finally took the offered piece into her own hands. “All right. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” Sasha replied, more energetic than before. “Uh, I think it would be better to finish it quickly. It might be bad if somebody notices us missing for too long?” She bit back into her piece of bread before Mikasa replied, although the latter followed suit to start on her own piece.

With that, Mikasa and Sasha's first secret snack time together passed quite uneventfully.

* * *

“Ah.”

“Ah.”

About a couple of weeks afterwards, Sasha was again cowering behind one of the sheds while munching on a piece of bread, and Mikasa had again happened upon her.

Before either of them said anything, Sasha had tore a large chunk of her bread, and wordlessly shoved it towards Mikasa while continuing to chew.

“...even if you don't give it to me, I wouldn't have told anyone.”

“No, it's fine, take it. I'd feel kinda bad not giving anything back to you, anyway.”

Mikasa looked down at the piece offered to her, not taking it yet. “If you're hungry enough to take some food before meal time, wouldn't it be better for you to eat it yourself?”

“A-ah, no, I'm not that hungry, so take it!” Sasha pushed the piece towards Mikasa again.

“Hm?”

“U-um, well...” Sasha lowered her head and hand at the same time. It must had seem weird to steal food when she wasn't even hungry enough. “Well, I am a bit hungry. Not that I couldn't hold it until dinnertime. But… who knows when else I can get this much food. So, I...” Sasha was at the brink of recollecting some harder times from her childhood, when her father had went home with not quite enough for the family, when she remembered that she was talking to someone and looked up hurriedly at Mikasa. “Ah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to complain about it to you.”

Sasha wouldn't have been surprised if Mikasa was taken aback, but instead, her gaze was somewhat soft. “It's all right. I can understand.”

“Ah… is that so.” Sasha then remembered that Mikasa used to live within Wall Maria – certainly she had to go through times of want after the fall of the wall. Probably even more than her. It was not a happy thought, but it gave her a strange sense of relief, that there was a commonality between them that she just found out. “In that case,” Sasha said as she offered the piece again, “why don't you take it as well?”

After a few moments, Mikasa took the piece off Sasha. “All right. Thank you.”

Flashing a smile, Sasha went back to finishing her own piece. When she looked at Mikasa, however, she had not started on her own piece. “Is anything the matter?”

Mikasa shifted her glance from her piece to Sasha. “Do you do this often?”

“A-ah, not really. It's true that I thought about it quite a few times after I found out how easy it was to sneak in and out of the storehouses ever since I did it on the first day, but I have more control on myself than that. You just happened to walk by on the exact days I actually tried it out,” Sasha answered, scratching the back of her neck.

Sasha tried to see if there were any changes to Mikasa's expression after that answer, but found none, neither did she seemed like she wanted to prod further into the matter. Sasha was content with that – after all, it was good enough that she wasn't getting reported to anyone. Deciding to leave it at that, Sasha resumed working on her piece of bread.

* * *

“Mikasa!”

Mikasa turned around at the sound of her name, but could not seem to find the source. Said source of the voice, Sasha, called again a little louder.

“Mikasa!”

This time, it seemed that she could hear it properly, with her head turned towards the shed that some trainees had passed. She headed towards the other side and indeed, Sasha was waiting for her there, two pieces of biscuits in her hands. One of them was offered to Mikasa.

“...you wouldn't have to do this if you didn't call me over.”

Sasha shook her head. “That's not it. This is thanks for helping me earlier with practice with the gear earlier. I seriously thought the instructor would have me stay there the whole time and miss dinner if I failed again. Oh, and besides, these weren't from the storage sheds – I bought them from town on our last day off.”

“..are you sure?”

“Of course! You've helped me quite a few times with drills before too, after all.”

“If you say so, then,” Mikasa said, taking the biscuit with less hesitance than the previous times.

One could not say that Mikasa had a small appetite, but she wasn't the type to snack much outside of main meals. Maybe it was why she wanted to share her food with Mikasa again, seeing her enjoy small morsels like this – aside from genuinely wanting to show her gratitude, of course.

“Ah, Sasha.” Hearing her name being called, Sasha, having finished her food, turned towards Mikasa. Upon that, she reached out a hand toward Sasha's face, wiping away some crumbs that was stuck on near her mouth.

Slightly surprised at the contact, Sasha blinked once, fixing her gaze at Mikasa. She was close, way closer than she had ever been. Somehow, her brain decided that that was the time to focus on Mikasa's clear but strong eyes, the outline of her jaw, her slightly chapped lips… to which she had pressed hers onto before she could realise it.

When she did realise it, Sasha immediately jerked her body back. “A-ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it like that -”

Sasha thought Mikasa would at least also be taken aback, but instead, her wrist was grasped and this time, it was Mikasa who leaned in. It wasn't a long kiss, just lips pressing together, but it awoke something within her – something she didn't think much about before, beyond a hazy understanding that it was something teenagers her age were starting to be interested in. Something some of the other boys and girls sneak out beyond their curfew to take care of.

Mikasa finally pulled back. “Was that better?”

For a few moments, Sasha just stared blankly, processing what has just happened. “Uh… I guess.”

Mikasa had an inscrutable look on her face, although inwardly she wasn't sure of what she had just done either. “If you're done, I think we should head back. Somebody might notice if we're away for too long, as usual.”

“Ah, that's true.” Letting Mikasa walk first before her, Sasha followed behind, leaving a few steps of space between them.

* * *

They ate together behind the storehouse a few more times after that, be it something from the storehouses, leftovers from the previous mealtime, or something bought when they were allowed to go out of the training camps. There was also more of the touching – first just faces, with a couple of chaste kisses, then their hands started crawling down towards necks, chests, backs, even skirting dangerously down further and untucking shirts. Neither of them put much thought on why they were doing it, approaching it as sating another type of hunger that had welled up within them as they grew up from being kids, and soon it took priority in their little meetings over physical hunger.

And the night before the last day of training, before they were out into the world, here they were again, behind the storehouse, Mikasa pinning Sasha to the wall, wedging a leg between Sasha's while one of her hands roam her torso. When Mikasa pulled back, both of them were heaving in and out, catching up on their breaths.

“...soon, we'll be finished with training, won't we,” Sasha spoke up to fill the silence.

“Yes.” Mikasa looked down at her with her usual flat emotion.

Sasha shifted her gaze towards the sky above. “I almost can't believe we've been here for that long. And the day after tomorrow, we'll be actually stationed out there… you're joining the Survey Corps, aren't you?" It was common knowledge that Eren had always had his eyes set on the Survey Corps, and that Mikasa had all the plans to follow him.

“That's right.”

“I wonder how it'll be like, fighting out there. You always hear about the death toll after every expedition. W-well, I'm not saying that you will… well, but...” Sasha's mind wandered to their training in the past three years. Even after all those hard work, will they still fall so quickly? As if all the moments they spent together never was?

Just as Sasha's gaze was cast back down, Mikasa grabbed onto her hand. “I will live.”

“Huh?”

“I will live.” Mikasa repeated her words, as if they were the only words she felt necessary to make her point. As if to persuade the still bewildered Sasha even further. She laid her lips on Sasha's again, a bit more vigorously than before – a reminder of how alive they were right now.

As the two broke apart again, no words were said. What went on between them wasn't something to be easily described by words – not quite a lovers' tryst, but definitely more than just comradeship. But it was something they had for the moment, which may not continue in a few days, And so, their lips met again, for what could just be the last time.

* * *

“Mikasa.”

It was years later after that last meeting behind the storehouse, just before that fateful day that changed everything they thought was going to be their lives after training. The area within Wall Maria has successfully been recaptured, and the Survey Corps' main missions were mostly to scout past settlements, checking places where people can potentially move back to, although encounters with titans was still not out of the question. The morning had seen the end of another successful mission, and that afternoon, Sasha had led Mikasa towards a small path between buildings.

They did not have to hide – there were no more strict curfews like there were during their trainee days. But they liked it this way – _their_ way.

Sasha had an apple in each hand – purchased, of course. “Congratulations for another job successfully completed?”

Mikasa received the apple with a smile. “You were there too. So, congratulations to you too.”

Flashing a grin, Sasha wasted no time to start on her apple. Fruits were not plentiful back during their trainee days – strictly speaking, they still weren't quite so plentiful even now, but they were more numerous and accessible in comparison.

“Hmmm, these apples are simply delicious. It feels wonderful to be alive right now,” Sasha cooed. Delicious food had always been her weakness, and that hadn't changed.

“They indeed are,” Mikasa agreed as she took another bite.

For a while, none of them said a word as they finished their apples. Feeling Mikasa's gaze on her afterwards, Sasha asked, “Is anything the matter?”

“I did stay alive, didn't I?”

“Huh? Are you referring to something?”

“What you said earlier reminded me of that day not long before we finished training.”

“Oh.” Sasha remembered too now, that day when she had been unsure of what was waiting for them ahead. To be fair, the road had definitely been far from smooth. But they had lived through it, both of them. Sasha reached a hand to cup Mikasa's face. “Yeah, you did. We did.”

Before they knew it, they had continued these meetings after returning from every expedition, a reminder that they were still here, alive. That they were still able and need to eat. That they were still there for each other. And just like that, their lips met, arms wrapped around each others' shoulders, feeling each others' warmth to the fullest, another reminder of the same.

And each time they parted from each other, looking at each other with slightly flushed faces and short breaths, they wished for another chance to do it all again.


End file.
